Constructive Conflict

"As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another" (Psalm 27:17)(NIV).

We all want to be sharp, but few of us want to be sharpened. Sharpening usually requires conflict and discomfort. It brings out our insecurities, our self-doubts--if we let it. It strains our relationships, unless we receive it with humility.

Several years ago, I was aware of a problem in a close friend's life. He couldn't see it. But it was a big problem. I was scared to talk to him about it. Was it my business? Was it my place? Would he ever talk to me again? I tried to run from telling him.

But the Holy Spirit was relentless. About every other day for a year, I thought about my friend and his situation. Finally, I couldn't stand it. I called him. After I had said my peace, my friend was silent for what felt like an eternity. And then he said, "Wow. You must really love me to tell me something like that." When I made the call, I was aware that I was risking our friendship to be obedient to God. And I thanked God for my friend's response.

Would I have responded the same way, if I were the one who had received the call? Would you have? I hope so. Sharpening is constructive conflict spurred on by sacrificial love. I pray that God will give us the humility to recognize His hand in sharpening us through our true friendships.

Willow Creek Rethinks Its Model

For years, many churches have patterned their ministry after the ministry of Willow Creek Church (http://www.willowcreekchurch.com/), in Illinois. There's even an association of Willow Creek Churches (http://www.willowcreek.com/. WCC, and its Senior Pastor, Bill Hybels, have been successful in reaching tens of thousands of unchurched people by being sensitive to the presence of the non-Christians among them.

Recently, though, WCC has realized that its more spiritually mature members are disappointed with their church. WCC's Greg Hawkins and his team also learned that participation in church activities did not correlate to increases in spiritual maturity. The combination of these two revelations has rocked WCC's world.

To their credit, WCC performed a detailed study of their members. They also studied 29 other churches, and found similar currents of discontent among their spiritually mature members. Watch this video, in which Pastor Greg Hawkins discusses the initial findings of the WCC study:http://revealnow.com/story.asp?storyid=48 . The preliminary findings of the studies are available through WCC in a book called REVEAL: Where Are You?

I have heard complaints from spiritually mature Christians about the WCC model for years, and am excited that WCC has initiated such a thorough, introspective, and public study of their ministry. I can't wait to read REVEAL.

It's not easy for us to look at ourselves and accept that we may have to make major changes. I applaud WCC for its courage. All of us may benefit from their findings.

The Lost Commandment Church

I just finished Don Miller's book, Blue Like Jazz. Great book.

Don's life is a testament to the importance of Christ's love and community in our lives. He felt accepted by hippies with whom he lived in the woods, and to some extent rejected by fellow camp counselors at a Christian summer camp. He was prone to being reclusive, but learned to love himself and others while living with five other Christian guys.

Christ's love and acceptance is expressed through other people. When we who call ourselves Christian are judgmental rather than loving, others may think that God thinks like we do. What a disaster.

Jesus wants us, as a Christian community, to be known by our love--by His love. I want to figure out how a church can learn to accept and express Christ's love to the world, so that the first place someone like Don would want to go is to church.

His Cross, Our Cross

"Then he said to them all: 'If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me'" (Luke 9:23)(NIV).

Good Friday reminds us that just as Jesus took up His cross for us, so we must also take up our cross for Him and each other. Click here to hear a devotional that I gave at my church's Good Friday service last night.

Because He First Loved Us

My wife and I first dated in my B.C. days. Before I had given my life to Jesus. Before I'd caught a glimpse of what Christ's love looked like, or understood how it could turn my life right-side up.

The relationship only lasted about five months. I nearly lost the love of my life because I didn't know what love was. When we broke up, I had no expectation of ever seeing Lynne again, let alone marrying her. Being the bright, sensitive guy that I was, I even told her so.

But that's obviously not how the story ended. Christ came into my life and changed me through His love. Two years later, I called Lynne to say hello. Don't ask me why. My new relationship with Jesus came up in the conversation, as did her renewed relationship with Him. She agreed to meet me for coffee. Again, don't ask me why.

Christ changed our relationship. Lynne and I developed a strong friendship, and that grew to something much more. We were married a year later. The Bible verse that served as the theme for our wedding was 1 John 4:19: "We love because he first loved us." For us, that verse explained it all.

That was almost 26 years ago. Now Lynne and I have two wonderful, Godly daughters. Lauren is a second-year student at the University of Virginia (where Lynne and I met). Elizabeth is about to graduate from high school, and is praying about which offer of college admission she should accept. We were together and all dressed up last weekend, so we took this picture.

Looking at the picture makes me very grateful for Christ's love, and for the love of the woman He chose for me.

Lynne, before God and these witnesses, I tell you that I love you, and that I will do my best to show you that I love you for the rest of our lives.

Go GoBible®: Spiritual Technology

In case any of you are wondering, here’s what I want for my birthday in early May: a GoBible®.

A GoBible® is a very small (2.5” x 3.5” x 0.5”) MP3 player that puts the whole Bible at your finger tips. It’s available in NIV, NKJV, and KJV versions of the Bible, and sells for $100. The GoBible® allows you to begin listening at a specific verse, which beats what you can do with an iPod. Besides, have you tried loading 65 CDs worth of Scripture on your iPod? Ugh. I have.

The GoBible® has other neat features: a topic index, the ability to insert up to 24 bookmarks of your favorite passages, a plan for listening to the entire Bible in a year, and a story index of the 200 most popular Bible stories. You can also buy mini speakers and something that lets you listen to the Bible on your car radio. It might make coffee, but I’m not sure. For more information or to buy one, go to: http://www.gobible.com/.

You won’t believe how much Scripture you can listen to while shopping or working around the house. It’s a great supplement to reading the Bible.

So I say, go GoBible®! I hope to see these all over the place.

Obedience Matters

I was sitting talking to a bunch of Christians about how important it is to Christ that we obey Him, when one of them said, “Oh, I just realized something. You live in a world where rules matter.” By that, I took the guy to mean, “Oh, you’re a lawyer, so you’re a rules guy. Kind of like the Pharisees. That’s why you’re talking about obedience.”

Okay, I admit that this bugged me. It bugged me because when you’re a lawyer—and a Christian lawyer at that—you hear a lot of lawyer jokes. Even in church. None of them are very flattering. “What do you call it when a lawyer is eaten by a shark? (Pause, sly smirk) A good start! (big belly laugh).” Yeah, that’s just hysterical. Especially when you’ve spent your professional life taking significant personal and financial risks to defend those who are under attack and fresh out of hope. And it’s not just me (of course). Lots of lawyers view their job as a calling and a ministry, not just a profession. So if you want to love me as Christ has loved you, don’t tell me lawyer jokes. It hurts my feelings.

But that’s not what really bugged me about this comment.

Was Jesus a rules guy? One day, Jesus' disciples got worried about whether He was getting enough to eat. "My food," said Jesus, "is to do the will of him who sent me and to finish his work" (John 4:34). Jesus loved us by doing what His father told Him to do. Later, Jesus said, “If you love me, you will obey what I command” (John 14:15). Our obedience demonstrates that we love Jesus. Isn’t that what it means to follow Jesus as Lord? Isn’t that the essence of faith—obedience in the face of danger or even doubt? Yeah, I think obedience is a very big deal to Jesus. He's a grace guy, but He's also a rules guy. Everyone lives in a world where rules mattter, because rules matter to Jesus. What would make us think otherwise?

Well, I tried to make a short list of reasons. This may look a little like I’m talking to myself (which, of course, I am). Send me your comments so that I’ll at least look a little less crazy:

1. “We are saved by grace, so obedience doesn’t matter.” Dave: We are saved by grace, but that doesn’t mean that we keep disobeying (Rom. 6). We were created in Christ to do good works, and we can’t do the work without obedience (Eph. 2:10) and the power of the Holy Spirit.

2. “No one can obey perfectly.” Dave: Agreed. That doesn’t mean we don’t try, by God’s grace and with His help, to obey perfectly. We need to rest in the assurance of Christ’s love, and know that His love is not dependent on our perfection (good thing!). He loves us for who we are. If we focus on our failures instead of Christ’s love for us, our quest for holiness can spiral into depression and self-condemnation, which is obviously not what Jesus had in mind.

3. “Focus on obedience leads to self-righteousness and judgmentalism.” And we start looking like the person in the photograph in this post. Dave: Not necessarily, but I agree that this is a danger. We need to let Christ’s perfection and the Holy Spirit keep us humble. This is the flip-side of obsessing over our failures (#2). If we ignore our failures, we lapse into pride. Rather than fall into either of these two extremes, we need to consider ourselves with sober (balanced) judgment (Rom. 12:3).

4. “Yeah, but lots of crazies do bad things because ‘God told them to.’” Dave: Sometimes I think that Satan has a better PR firm than God. He convinces people to do horrible things, and then whispers in their ear, “Tell them God told you to do it.” That way, Satan gets his job done, and hurts God’s reputation in the process. True obedience—true Godliness—is the best way to overcome Satan’s PR war. Jesus said, “By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another” (John 13:35).

Let’s love one another as Jesus has loved us, in joyful obedience to Him.