Tuning Our Tone

"If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal." 1 Corinthians 13:1 (NIV)

If we hope to love others by speaking truth into their lives, we better ask the Holy Spirit to help us tune our tone.

I left a somewhat critical comment on someone else's blog recently, because I thought that the blogger was being excessively rough in "sharpening" his Internet congregration. The author criticized those who spend too much time praying for the healing of others (e.g. "for Aunt Bessie's trick knee"). The blogger characterized such believers as "whine-os." Then he wrote, "How shallow! How sad! How extremely myopic, pathetic, and poverty stricken are your supplications!"

Hmmmm. That just struck me the wrong way, and I said so. My comment set off an exchange of comments with the author that were less than edifying. In his defense, the blogger wrote, "Look at the words of Jesus on discipleship and His were far tougher than mine."

The issue is tone. True, Jesus sometimes let his listeners have it, particularly when they were hypocrits. Like this zinger: "Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You are like whitewashed tombs, which look beautiful on the outside but on the inside are full of dead men's bones and everything unclean" (Matt. 23:27)(NIV). All I can say is, "Wow!"

But that's not how Jesus usually addressed people about their sin. If He had, they would have run away from Him, rather than flocked toward Him. Jesus' words, His tone, and no-doubt His body language, communicated His love for His listeners. And His love made it possible for them to hear the truth of His words. I think it can be said that the louder we speak, the less others usually hear. The clanging cymbals of our words make others want to cover their ears.

If we want to speak truth into the lives of others, we have to tune our tone to the music of the love of Christ. With the Holy Spirit's help, we can speak the truth in love, as Christ intends.

Constructive Conflict

"As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another" (Psalm 27:17)(NIV).

We all want to be sharp, but few of us want to be sharpened. Sharpening usually requires conflict and discomfort. It brings out our insecurities, our self-doubts--if we let it. It strains our relationships, unless we receive it with humility.

Several years ago, I was aware of a problem in a close friend's life. He couldn't see it. But it was a big problem. I was scared to talk to him about it. Was it my business? Was it my place? Would he ever talk to me again? I tried to run from telling him.

But the Holy Spirit was relentless. About every other day for a year, I thought about my friend and his situation. Finally, I couldn't stand it. I called him. After I had said my peace, my friend was silent for what felt like an eternity. And then he said, "Wow. You must really love me to tell me something like that." When I made the call, I was aware that I was risking our friendship to be obedient to God. And I thanked God for my friend's response.

Would I have responded the same way, if I were the one who had received the call? Would you have? I hope so. Sharpening is constructive conflict spurred on by sacrificial love. I pray that God will give us the humility to recognize His hand in sharpening us through our true friendships.

Willow Creek Rethinks Its Model

For years, many churches have patterned their ministry after the ministry of Willow Creek Church (http://www.willowcreekchurch.com/), in Illinois. There's even an association of Willow Creek Churches (http://www.willowcreek.com/. WCC, and its Senior Pastor, Bill Hybels, have been successful in reaching tens of thousands of unchurched people by being sensitive to the presence of the non-Christians among them.

Recently, though, WCC has realized that its more spiritually mature members are disappointed with their church. WCC's Greg Hawkins and his team also learned that participation in church activities did not correlate to increases in spiritual maturity. The combination of these two revelations has rocked WCC's world.

To their credit, WCC performed a detailed study of their members. They also studied 29 other churches, and found similar currents of discontent among their spiritually mature members. Watch this video, in which Pastor Greg Hawkins discusses the initial findings of the WCC study:http://revealnow.com/story.asp?storyid=48 . The preliminary findings of the studies are available through WCC in a book called REVEAL: Where Are You?

I have heard complaints from spiritually mature Christians about the WCC model for years, and am excited that WCC has initiated such a thorough, introspective, and public study of their ministry. I can't wait to read REVEAL.

It's not easy for us to look at ourselves and accept that we may have to make major changes. I applaud WCC for its courage. All of us may benefit from their findings.

The Lost Commandment Church

I just finished Don Miller's book, Blue Like Jazz. Great book.

Don's life is a testament to the importance of Christ's love and community in our lives. He felt accepted by hippies with whom he lived in the woods, and to some extent rejected by fellow camp counselors at a Christian summer camp. He was prone to being reclusive, but learned to love himself and others while living with five other Christian guys.

Christ's love and acceptance is expressed through other people. When we who call ourselves Christian are judgmental rather than loving, others may think that God thinks like we do. What a disaster.

Jesus wants us, as a Christian community, to be known by our love--by His love. I want to figure out how a church can learn to accept and express Christ's love to the world, so that the first place someone like Don would want to go is to church.

His Cross, Our Cross

"Then he said to them all: 'If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me'" (Luke 9:23)(NIV).

Good Friday reminds us that just as Jesus took up His cross for us, so we must also take up our cross for Him and each other. Click here to hear a devotional that I gave at my church's Good Friday service last night.

Because He First Loved Us

My wife and I first dated in my B.C. days. Before I had given my life to Jesus. Before I'd caught a glimpse of what Christ's love looked like, or understood how it could turn my life right-side up.

The relationship only lasted about five months. I nearly lost the love of my life because I didn't know what love was. When we broke up, I had no expectation of ever seeing Lynne again, let alone marrying her. Being the bright, sensitive guy that I was, I even told her so.

But that's obviously not how the story ended. Christ came into my life and changed me through His love. Two years later, I called Lynne to say hello. Don't ask me why. My new relationship with Jesus came up in the conversation, as did her renewed relationship with Him. She agreed to meet me for coffee. Again, don't ask me why.

Christ changed our relationship. Lynne and I developed a strong friendship, and that grew to something much more. We were married a year later. The Bible verse that served as the theme for our wedding was 1 John 4:19: "We love because he first loved us." For us, that verse explained it all.

That was almost 26 years ago. Now Lynne and I have two wonderful, Godly daughters. Lauren is a second-year student at the University of Virginia (where Lynne and I met). Elizabeth is about to graduate from high school, and is praying about which offer of college admission she should accept. We were together and all dressed up last weekend, so we took this picture.

Looking at the picture makes me very grateful for Christ's love, and for the love of the woman He chose for me.

Lynne, before God and these witnesses, I tell you that I love you, and that I will do my best to show you that I love you for the rest of our lives.

Go GoBible®: Spiritual Technology

In case any of you are wondering, here’s what I want for my birthday in early May: a GoBible®.

A GoBible® is a very small (2.5” x 3.5” x 0.5”) MP3 player that puts the whole Bible at your finger tips. It’s available in NIV, NKJV, and KJV versions of the Bible, and sells for $100. The GoBible® allows you to begin listening at a specific verse, which beats what you can do with an iPod. Besides, have you tried loading 65 CDs worth of Scripture on your iPod? Ugh. I have.

The GoBible® has other neat features: a topic index, the ability to insert up to 24 bookmarks of your favorite passages, a plan for listening to the entire Bible in a year, and a story index of the 200 most popular Bible stories. You can also buy mini speakers and something that lets you listen to the Bible on your car radio. It might make coffee, but I’m not sure. For more information or to buy one, go to: http://www.gobible.com/.

You won’t believe how much Scripture you can listen to while shopping or working around the house. It’s a great supplement to reading the Bible.

So I say, go GoBible®! I hope to see these all over the place.